There is a gathering of friends. One person has a word. He talks weird so the friends can say what word he is thinking. But it is more official than what I am saying. Do you know?… This is my life right now. This is what I sound like. My vocabulary in Spanish is so small, almost every sentence requires piecing together a definition of an unknown phrase or word. Using motions and words and sounds, I attempt to convey meaning to my Spanish friends. During one of these (comical) sessions, I had a sense of deja vu. It was like remembering a puzzle I had put together before. But it wasn’t a puzzle, it was a game. Taboo. Or if I am lucky with the vocabulary, Catch Phrase. Like a far less dangerous version of Jumangi, the game has become my life. I hurt my knee playing soccer. People ask, are you feeling better? “Yes, but it’s (how do you say stiff?) I can’t (what is the verb for to bend?) no it has no pain. It’s not walking well…No, no pain…” And so it goes. The puzzle is slow to come together. I want to express my life, but I’m not sure of the conjugation or the correct tense, so I figure out new avenues to get the point across. In English, I treat grammar as a guideline, a tool to accomplish my true objective: understanding. In Spanish, I am stumbling in the dark. Grammar is a phantom I seek in the hope it will grant me clarity in speaking and listening to others. One day my life here will be more than a game, keeping only the laughter.